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I hide my thoughts. Doesn't make sense to say that on a public blog, you say? I state it, because I know I have problems. I know that I hide myself, that I took to heart my idea of Paul's statement to be "all things to all people," to which I start to disappear. At least, I think I disappear, to others. From my side, it's just me being me. I'd rather ask permission than forgiveness. Invite others, than myself. Be in groups of 6 or less. Be silent or honest. I cannot seem to hide my feelings to save my life, must be part of that honesty streak. People know my mood, plain as the beard on my face, though I've got some theories regarding my lack of sympathy and overwhelming sense of empathy. I'm intentional about communicating my feelings clearly, as often as I can, but I think I may be wrong to think that's the better way. More than anything, I realize that I am who I am, trying to be more, but not knowing how to get there. An extroverted introvert, I attract my opposites. Maybe I'm trying to be what I need, pushing past social niceties to hear from others, wanting to feel their heart more than my own. So I respond with this next series of blogs/notes, entries from my journal. My real life as I see it, not the picture of me you see.